Horses gallop in the sky
A mighty bird soars above the sky
Even the rats are at war with each other

I'm confused at their imperfections,
But I notice they're working it out.
What I have taught has served them well.
And to lay the course is mine no more.
But to walk alongside and observe calmly.
Seeing the imperfection of the path
And see them slowly approach obstacles, without my input.
And finding their own ways,
Together.
I can walk my own paths too.
And accept what the day brings.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
And kill my every self, which clings on to you,
Dragging you along with me.
I renounce any ownership of your love
I will delight in a pinch of tender kisses sprinkled over my face.
And fall, feel, and falter lightly so as to not disturb your beauty and
perfection.

Giggle with a friend
Work together
Touch each other gently
Share memes, drink

I think i understand how impossible it would have been to love you properly.
I walk the town lonely like a housewife
And visit the cemetery where our love lays.

It is lonely here, only me today.
I make sure to pay respects
and look for my own gravestone to prove that i am dead.
I'll come back tomorrow,
Wander on like a ghost.

Cursed with Aphrodite's love to give.
But no one around in this ghost town.
The park is empty and it feels so strange.
Not another conflicted soul in sight.
No one with wells large enough or enough time to give.
Everyone's busy on something.
No one has a free second to give.
Doomed until i can receive 1 free second of love.
For now i must love myself more
Lest the birds squaks turn into childrens screams like this morning. Or the
afternoon delight of music in the white noise of the shower and the hidden
messages within it all.
Everyone is a cia agent and this is a conspiracy to watch me under full
surveillance as the last human
Not one person dare approach them though i cannot look their eye
Under the moonlight i must look even more beautiful.
Narcissistic but also the only person willing to receive my love.

Hey dude, I hope you dont take this the wrong way at all because I really think youre cool but I think we are just on absolutely different worlds right now and as ive said, there’s no need to force things when you can just leave them in a decent state. Maybe in the future we’ll cross paths again and it’ll all just work out.

Thanks for giving me a go and inviting me into your home and letting me meet your gf and dog who are both super cool also. Give them lots of love and attention!!!!

All the best!

A

You are the starless sky.
An untarred road full of holes.
The overgrown garden path.
Inviting me in, yet unable to lead me anywhere.

You confuse me with your certainty.
A corporate, bong hitting skater,
What the fuck?
Make a lunchtime appointment to hang out with me?

Invite you to weightlift, no talking, we'll listen to jazz.
That's what you yearn for the most, you say.
I haven't shared my calendar and you're too busy to work out a date.
I'm unemployed, friendless, i dont talk to anyone.

Timeless stories.
Tragic trajectories.
Parallel fates.
Bullshit.

Reply to my letter.

Treat me better.

I went outside for you.

Twice.

Your veins form cathedrals on your hands

I don't exist when it rains outside anymore.
I cease to be when the rain falls.
I don't do anything at all.
On those days, often,
The drops will drown me.
Leaving only my ghost.
⛈

So much innocence lost at the intersection of every part of my life.
Board games *above* the shelf of curated alcohol.
The bong water feels like pop rocks on my tongue.
A goddamn near illusion that im a passionate one.

My passions lie deep in the cellar, buckling under the weight of the dust.
My hopes and dreams, collapse under the weight of infinite lifetimes.
Glass becomes sand, then melts into time again.
Cyclic. Agenetic. Eternal energy.

I'd rather not talk to my friends.
Even if the sky is frightening i dont want to play new games.

Depression is a sadness of the mind.
A fog that invades your every living moment.
And the weight of the world feels like a warm heavy blanket.
At your least sensitive time.

And day by day you go on living.
Straining against the pain.
Owing the hellkeeper interest
on every measly second, as you track about your day.

Is it the childlike wonder that makes it worth living?
A sense of living without dismay
No dreams or visions
But to be happy each day.

I am a poet now, but only in the sense that my screams dont echo.
Waiting, without a doubt, that this time wont be better.
And living without a doubt for the time of doom.
And experiencing each moment with a breathless smile.

Experiencing something,
For the last time.

Giving it up forever.
Giving up the sadness.
Forget about the pain.
Dont wait for tomorrow.
All you have is today.

Every day.
All people do is survive
Every night.
The clock gets buried under concrete.
A time capsule in space.
Sending hellos to the universe,
As we drift further and further apart.
Hoping to one day come back together.
Into the single.
Friendship we had.

We were once one.
But now we are drifting.

Time is moving so fast again.

New people become ancient friends.

I'm exhausted.


Every burst of energy consumes my life force.

I can feel it leaking.


I feel sad after feeling happiness, and this time is no different.
How funny: i could die just from meeting you again.

I've become used to it.


Happiness dulled down so I can't feel it's sharp blade thrust into my back.
Pieces of scarred meat that are too tough to hack.

It is happening.


I can feel the continuous descent.
My only question is how far down till it all ends?
I'll make it on the news one day, I'm sure...

I'll matter to someone who mattered to me more.


All the while feeling empty.
Full.
Here and not.
With and without.
All that is between A and Z.


Neither the start nor the final glimpse,

true beauty robbed from my eyes.

A gentle sound lost to the wind.

A small burning flame in a pit of darkness.

Stained or faded I will continue to love my colours.

Aphrodite, let me wear you as a coat.
Keep me warm in the winter so that I may spread your seed.
Love.

We are all so uncomfortably alive right now. Together.

By the time i had tried to take a picture it was gone.
Once again, i felt that i would never live any moment again.
The tape had stopped recording and my pen had	gone inkless.


With all my conviction.
I am dying.
The most forcefully i can.
The most violent	suicide.

I am exploding within each and every moment.